Navigating Triggers at Family Holiday Gatherings
For many people, family holidays bring a mix of joy and tension.
You might look forward to connection, yet still feel anxious or on edge around certain people or conversations. These moments are called triggers—signals from your body that something feels unsafe or familiar from the past.
Being triggered doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means your nervous system is trying to protect you.
Here are some ways to care for yourself this season:
1. Plan Ahead
Before gatherings, take a few minutes to reflect:
What situations or people usually feel hard?
What can I do if those things happen again?
Who can I reach out to before or after for support?
Naming what might be triggering helps you feel prepared instead of caught off guard.
2. Protect Your Energy
You don’t have to say “yes” to every event, conversation, or request.
Boundaries help you stay safe and present. It’s okay to say:
“I’d rather not talk about that right now.”
“I’m going to take a quick break.”
Your peace matters more than anyone’s approval.
3. Ground Yourself in the Moment
When you feel overwhelmed, try small calming actions:
Take a slow breath in…and exhale even slower.
Notice your feet on the floor or your hands on your lap.
Excuse yourself for some fresh air, or text a supportive friend.
These help your body remember that you’re safe right now.
4. Remember: You Have Choices
You can choose how long to stay, what to talk about, and who to be near.
You can leave early, skip a gathering, or take breaks.
You are not responsible for keeping everyone happy—only for caring for yourself.
5. Make It Meaningful
Find small ways to create comfort and connection:
Spend time with supportive people
Listen to favorite music
Start a new tradition
Light a candle for peace or gratitude
The holidays don’t have to look perfect to feel meaningful.
6. Be Kind to Yourself
If you do get triggered, notice it gently.
It doesn’t mean you’ve gone backward—it means something inside you still needs care.
Afterward, rest, journal, or talk with someone safe about what came up.
Reflections:
What kinds of situations tend to trigger me at family gatherings?
What helps me feel safe and grounded when I start to feel overwhelmed?
What new boundary or tradition could help protect my peace this year?
Who can I reach out to for support during the holidays?